Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Hezbollah's Golden Girls














“On the subject of the liberty of the press, as much has been said, I cannot forbear adding a remark or two: in the first place, I observe, that there is not a syllable concerning it in the constitution of this State; in the next, I contend that whatever has been said about it in that of any other State amounts to nothing. What signifies a declaration that “the liberty of the press shall be inviolably preserved”? What is the liberty of the press? Who can give it any definition which would not leave the utmost latitude for evasion? I hold it to be impracticable; and from this I infer that its security, whatever fine declarations may be inserted in any constitution respecting it, must altogether depend on public opinion, and on the general spirit of the people and of the government.”

- Alexander Hamilton – “The Federalist Papers” (Page 482)

About an hour ago I tuned in to press secretary Tony Snow’s daily briefing. As expected, the line of questioning dealt almost exclusively with the situation in the Middle-East. And, as is their custom, the press took up the cause of the “oppressed.” In this case it was Hezbollah.

The two primary defenders of the terrorist status-quo were Martha Raddatz, ABC News’ chief White House correspondent, accompanied by Hearst columnist and long-time White House gadfly Helen Thomas. Their performances were so good that I’m sure it won’t be long till Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah awards them the Hezbollah medal of merit for their work.

The performances ranged from the inane to the insane. Thomas asked why the President had vetoed a virtually non-existent U.N. resolution demanding that Israel cease fire and stop picking on Hezbollah white-hats in southern Lebanon. Raddatz wanted to know, in no uncertain terms, when the United States was going to “restrain” the Israeli forces defending their homeland.

Ah, freedom of the press, ain’t it grand. Hitler had Axis Sally. Tojo had Tokyo Rose. And, here at the dawn of the new millennium Hezbollah has its Golden Girls – Helen Thomas and Martha Raddatz.

Since I’ve lived here in Emporia I’ve had several rhetorical run-ins with the folks down at the Emporia Gazette. I’ve noticed that almost any time one of us ignorant rubes (as we’re affectionately known to the staff down at 517 Merchant) criticizes something they’ve written, they immediately throw their trump card on the table. “Freedom of the press, you idiots. Freedom of the press! Don’t you get it? We’re running this country, not the President, the Congress, or you. We’re defending your rights, little people, so shut up and just keep drinking your Annie Green Springs and stop bothering us.”

Each time they resort to this last refuge of a practicing journalist I remind them that I’ve read a thing or two about freedom of the press and that if I ever hear the sound of hobnailed boots outside their doors I’ll break out my Louisville Sluggers and come down to defend them with all I’ve got, along with the rest of my fellow rubes. I don’t think it gets through. Their thrones are perched too high for them to really hear what a retired member of the proletariat has to say. But, I’ll keep trying. It’s my cross to bear.

If Martha Raddatz, Helen Thomas, and the U.S. press are so keen on finding a solution to the current Middle-East problem I’ll offer one. I propose that we recommend a swap, the Israeli soldiers for Helen and Martha. I might even be willing to throw in David Gregory and a Jackie Jensen rookie card if it will move the process along.

The deal would give Hezbollah a face-saving way out of the deep weeds. It would also set the world straight, so to speak. Martha Raddatz and Helen Thomas don’t belong in Washington, D.C, savaging America and Israel by day and munching on steak tartare by night. I say that a foxhole next to a battery of katyusha rockets somewhere in the Beka Valley is their real station in life.

I think Hezbollah just might buy it. What say ye?

Technorati tags for this post:

Helen Thomas

Hezbollah

Israel

Lebanon

Martha Raddatz

Hassan Nasrallah

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Phil,

Your ability to turn a phrase never ceases to amaze me. People like Thomas and her ilk will never realize that they would be #1 on the Islamofascist's list if Bin Laden, Hezbollah, and Hamas had their way

Anonymous said...

an absolutely dishonest column, as anyone with any iota of fairmindedness who actually saw that same press conference would attest. And the toadies who give you all those "dittoes" seem to be two more Lindbaugh listeners who confuse polemic with truth. Shame on you for such a scurrious attack on two honest journalists. You do your cause no good with such dishonesty.

Phil Dillon, Prairie Apologist said...

Doc

I watched the entire press briefing and I got it right. I have a keen eye for detail.

Something you might consider in the light of honesty and fairness is to give folks an opportunity to interact with you. Give us the URL of your web page so the dialogue can be two sided.