It’s said that confession is good for the soul, so I guess
I’d better fess up. I admit to a feeling of guilty pleasure as I watched I.R.S.
Commissioner Steven Miller squirm his way through several hours of
Congressional testimony last Friday. I felt almost as good as I did when my
beloved Red Sox came back from a three to nothing deficit to defeat the Yankees
in 2004.
I suspect anyone who’s ever endured an I.R.S. audit shares
my sense of guilty pleasure. There aren’t many experiences in life that can
compare with the pain being grilled by the tax man. I’ve been through a couple
of visits to a urologist and still cringe when I hear the snapping sound of a
rubber glove being fitted on a human hand. I’ve had double bypass surgery. I
had the wind knocked out of me once when I was playing hockey. I’ve been
through a divorce. I did a one year tour of duty in Vietnam. I’ve even been to
some of our city and county commission meetings. I can assure you that none of
these things can compare to the pain and agony of an audit.
The old adage says that there are two inevitable things in
life – death and taxes. I haven’t crossed the threshold of death yet, but I
know that a Celestial City awaits on the other side. I have been through an
I.R.S. audit and I’ve learned that it’s an experience filled with pain, grief,
frustration, and loss. There’s no Celestial City to be won. In my case it was
made worse when, in answer to the auditor’s question about whether or not I was
a wealthy man, I responded, “In a manner of speaking I guess. I own shares in
missiles, atomic submarines, tanks, guns, nuclear warheads, and a lot of other
stuff I don’t have much use for.” He didn’t find my answer very amusing and by
the time he was done with me it had cost me another two hundred bucks.
But it’s alright now. The auditors are being audited and
I’m as happy as a clam. I’ve even added any Congressional hearings on the
I.R.S. to my “must see” TV viewing list, along with “Doc Martin,” Call the
Midwife,” “As Time Goes By,” and the Stanley Cup playoffs.
I don’t think the President finds the I.R.S. crisis and
its counterparts very amusing. One crisis is plenty, but having to simultaneously
juggle the I.R.S. targeting of Conservatives, Benghazi, the Associated Press
subpoenas, and Kathleen Sibelius’s national shakedown tour is more than even a
leader with self-described messianic qualities should be expected to manage.
Some of my fellow Conservatives are prematurely ascribing
sinister motives to the President in this mess. Not me. I think he really believes
he’s leading us to Utopia and he’s built a team that shares his Progressive
vision. They believe they’re right about everything and see nothing wrong with
using the machinery of government to ensure that the narrative harmonizes with
the vision.
It all has a theological quality to it. Jeffrey Rosen
recently observed in “The New Republic,” that the undergirding rationale for
what’s going on in Washington these days is “based on the technocratic over-confidence that a
progressive administration must, by definition, be on the side of the angels.”
What does this mean when the rubber meets the
road? It means edits, audits, subpoenas, and a shakedown tour to fund
Obamacare.
One of the things I’ve noticed about the President
as the scandals mount is that he’s getting annoyed. That would be good, except
that I think he’s only annoyed because he believes some folks (think Tea
Partiers, pro-lifers, Conservatives like me, Libertarians like Steve Corbin,
etc.) just refuse to understand that his
intentions are good. After all, there’s nothing wrong with a bit of
skullduggery if the goal is noble. Right?
It’s strange, really. I do get it. I think the
President’s intentions are good. I just think that the flowers and petals of
good intentions being strewn along the winding road are actually leading us down the primrose path to
tyranny. It’s a philosophy that seems very noble on the surface, but once you
dig to its roots, you can see that it’s dangerous beyond imagination.
So, I’m all for good intentions, but I’m dead set
against tyranny, because, as Christian apologist C.S. Lewis once wrote, “Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good
of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under
robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's
cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but
those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do
so with the approval of their own conscience.”